A letter that she always wanted to give him but she couldn’t… may be she was not strong enough to complete it or maybe she was not that strong to let him go… the letter was her haal-e-dil…
“I love you baby….”, he said.
“Aww… I don’t believe that you are with me…” she replied.
……
“Why don’t you understand, this relation is not working out… I need time, you are not my type girl”, he said.
“My type means? What was that between us for so long? You said I support you; understand your feelings, what else do you want?”
……
“Get lost from my life; it was my mistake to trust you…”
“Please, don’t say this… give me one more chance, I’m sorry”, she said.
……
“Maa, Maa”, the child spoke. She opened her eyes and saw her child smiling at her. She smiled back and pressed his cheeks.
“Maa, I’m hungry”, he said innocently.
“Oh, wait for few minutes; I’ll give you your favorite sweetheart”, she replied.
“Maa, why are you crying? Your eyes are swollen.”
“No, I’m not crying. I’m tired sweetheart”, she said and kissed his forehead.
“Maa, I love you.”
“I love you more”, she said and the child jump into her lap.
“Maa, if you love me then please buy me a play station” he smiled.
“You naughty, you always got your demanding list ready”, she giggled.
“If I don’t ask you then whom shall I ask? You are the best mom na, Maa”, he giggled.
“Ah! There you are my devil son; you know pretty well how to win hearts.”
“So that means you will buy me one?”
“Ya, of course sweetheart, I will.”
“Thank you Maa, you are always very good. I’m sorry, Maa. Yesterday I lied to you that I didn’t have the ice-cream but I actually had it”, the child confessed.
“I knew that pretty well. Trust is something which is very important for any relationship; you must never break someone’s trust. You should never lie to the person you love, do you understand?”
“Yes Maa, I’ll never lie to you”, he said innocently. “How did you know that I was lying to you?”
“It is very simple I’m your mother and that means, I can read your eyes. You know your eyes are so beautiful and intense. They have got a spark, as if they can speak. Rishab I just love your…”
“Maa”, the child interrupted and looked at her.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot you are hungry”, she excused herself. How long will I get to bear all these? Why can’t I forget him? I got a family, why am I so weak? Why the feeling is still growing strong every day? Why???????????????
“Hi, I’m back babes”, he said.
“Where were you? You are screwed buddy”, she said.
“What happened now?”
“Mr. Rishab Mishra, come here”, a voice spoke. He turned back and saw Mrs. Meenakshi was looking sternly at him through her glasses.
“She checked your bag while you went to canteen and she found something, well all the best”, she whispered.
“Yes”, Rishab said and went ahead.
“What is this?” Mrs. Meenakshi enquired.
“Ah! That’s a condom”, he replied and the entire students around chuckled at the situation.
“Well Mr. Mishra that I know but why are you carrying this in your bag?” she enquired.
“Well Mam, condom is one of the precaution from AIDS and I think everyone knows that and more over I’m in college I might need it any time”, he said and everyone around burst out in laughter.
“You are so disgusting, I want to meet your father”, she said and turned her back.
“My father got no time for these shits and moreover you can keep it with yourself, may be your husband can use it”, he giggled. She turned around in anger but before she could speak anything he left.
“Hi Disha”, Rishab shouted.
“Freak”, she said and walked away.
“Hey, hey babes wait mujhse bachkar kaha tak bhago gi?”
“Get lost I don’t want to see your bloody face”, Disha said.
“Hey what did I do?”
“You don’t know how to talk to elders and why the hell are you carrying that thing… with yourself?” she asked.
“What thing?”
“That one…”
“Which one?”
“Rishab..”
“Disha…”
“Condom… uff!!! Idiot”, Disha said.
“Hahaha, you are so sweet na”, Rishab giggled.
“You are sick, why you always behave like this and you are carrying a condom, huh”, she said in disgust.
“Areyy you are behaving as if I have made someone pregnant and moreover that was not mine, I bought it for my friend and why does it concern you so much”, Rishab giggled. Disha looked at him and then walked away.
“I’m sorry babes but it was not my fault. Who asked Mrs. Meenakshi to search my bag; she should have a little common sense that she should never search a guy’s bag and specially a guy like me”, he continued.
“What else will you do, I feel so disgusting when you behave like this”, she said.
“Accha, baba sorry, khush???”
“You prepared for the internals?”
“Nope”, Rishab replied.
“What were you doing yesterday? Did you booze yesterday?” Disha enquired.
“Well… mmm… actually…”
“Did you booze Rishab? I’m asking you for the last time.”
“Yes, I did”, he confessed.
“Get lost”, she said and started walking fast.
“Hey wait, Disha”, Rishab shouted. “I didn’t have too much just a little amount, Disha wait…”
“Rishab I don’t like you to booze or fag or get into any of sort of addiction and you always keep doing those stuffs…”
“Chill babes, everyone does and it’s just to have fun.”
“Fun, what fun do you get which is going to harm you later and more over I don’t want you to be like others.”
“My parents never say anything to me regarding all this and you…”
“Rishab, I care for you and I don’t want you to suffer later. Moreover your parents know that you will never listen to them and hence they never say anything to you”, Disha interrupted.
“Chill babes, I know but I’m trying na and you should give me some time”, he said.
“Time, you better not talk about it, it’s been a year you are telling the same statement every day and then you kept on repeating the same thing.”
“Okay, Promise I won’t do from the next time.”
“Whatever… you are hopeless Rishab.”
“Now stop it, let’s have coffee”, Rishab said and then they left for coffee. The rest of the day they criss-crossed the entire city and finally Rishab dropped Disha home.
“Bye”, Disha said.
“Hey, bus…”
“Ab kya hai?”
“Socho…”
“Rishab, I got to go so better be fast”, Disha said.
“Well, Ms. Disha Sharma, I got to tell you something”, Rishab giggled.
“Rishab…”
“Disha…”
“What is it Rishab?”
“Well I want to thank you”, he said.
“Thank you, for what?”
“For being my only true friend, for being my support, for being my strength, for tolerating my lies and my behavior, for being the only girl whose cheeks I can press”, he said and pressed her cheeks as on any other day.
“What happened to you? Itna sentu kyun horahe ho?”
“Nothing special, it’s that I never said you this before that you mean to me a lot and…”
“Bus, bus… aj ke liye itna kaafi hai, kal baki bol dena. Now I got to go, bye”, she said and went away.
The days passed away normally and their friendship grew stronger, they became each other’s addiction. But for Disha, Rishab was never her close friend; she always had strong feelings for Rishab but whereas Rishab, he was unaware of Disha’s feelings and he never thought of being in love with her. She was always in a misconception that may be someday Rishab would propose her but that much awaited day never came. Then Disha thought of giving her feelings a chance and decided to let Rishab know about her feelings. She then dialed his number but it was as usual busy, he was talking to someone else. She then went to his place and pressed the door bell. The servant opened the door and then directed her to his room. He was busy talking to someone and ignored her when she walked in the room. After an hour he disconnected the call and looked at Disha, she was sitting quietly.
“Hi, I’m sorry, I was a bit busy”, he said.
“Ya, I can see that, whom were you talking to?”
“None, a friend of mine needs my help. I’m just helping him to get…”
“You got time for all of your friends other than me”, she said softly.
“What happened to you?”
“Nothing Rishab, it’s that I expect a lot from you and you’ll never realize it”, she said and swallowed a lump.
“Hey, babes I’m not getting you”, he said.
“Rishab, do you feel anything for me?”
“I think you are not well, you go back home and take rest”, he said politely.
“I’m fine Rishab, it’s just that I LOVE YOU”, she said and then broke down into tears. Rishab stood still as he couldn’t relate anything, he never thought in his wildest dreams that someday his best friend will propose him. He kept silent for a while and then he held her and wiped her tears.
“I never realized that you are in love with me, I don’t know what to say at this moment but I’ll…”
“It’s okay Rishab, I am leaving”, she said and left the room.
“Disha wait, Disha please listen to me…”
“Please Rishab let me go, please.”
“Disha….” he shouted but she didn’t listen and left his place. He then went back to his room and lied down on his bed and then he went back to the times they shared. He went through the photographs and the silly gifts of her, he never felt that way for her; she was always his best friend. He couldn’t let her upset because she was the only one who was by his side when he used to get upset, he couldn’t hurt her because she was the one who always strengthened him when he was shattered. But he didn’t feel for her either, he was all in predicament. A week passed away and they didn’t speak to each other, she never sms’d him nor did she call him.
Ring!
It was Rishab’s name flashing on Disha’s cell but she didn’t receive his call. He rang her twice and then thrice but still she didn’t receive the call and finally Rishab messaged her to receive the call.
“What happened?” she enquired.
“Why are you doing this to me? I need time to decide Disha and you can’t ignore me like this”, he said helplessly.
“I’m sorry because I put you in a dilemma but I couldn’t keep the feelings concealed in me anymore time, I had to let you know my feelings.”
“I can understand but I don’t want to lose my best friend. You revealed everything I was happy about it but after that the way you are behaving, it is hurting me baby, kya sab pehle jaisa nahi ho sakta?” he asked but she remained silent. He could feel her pain but he was all confused and then he disconnected the line. Two more days passed away and none of them contacted the other and finally Disha called Rishab and tried to break the ice.
“I’m sorry Rishab, I became selfish. I couldn’t understand your condition”, she said.
“No baby, it’s okay. Kya hum phir dost ban sakte hai?”
“Ya, hum ab bhi dost hai”, she said. Everything came back to normal and they became friends for one more time and finally the much awaited day arrived. Rishab called up Disha and asked her to meet him and they went to a park nearby; they cozened themselves where there was not much public.
“So, why you want to meet me?” Disha enquired.
“Just like that, actually I got to tell you something”, he replied. He was not looking into her eyes though she was trying hard to find what went wrong. He then held her hand and pressed her cheeks and smiled at her. Rishab got no idea that Disha was waiting to see that smile for such long time and then she was almost in tears.
“Why you always press my cheeks?”
“Well, because I love your cheeks”, he giggled.
“I love your eyes; your eyes are very attractive. They speak to me, Rishab.”
“Oh really, great, so tell me what are they telling now?”
“You…”
“Disha, I got to tell you something very important”, he interrupted.
“Oh! Say…”
“I’m moving to Delhi next week”, he said.
“What? Why?”
“I will be taking coaching for my MBA classes”, he added. Disha went numb after hearing the news; she remained silent for the rest of the evening. Rishab could read her silence and he was neither happy to leave her and go to Delhi. After the dinner Rishab dropped her home and as usual he stopped Disha and pressed her cheeks.
“I’ll miss you Rishab”, she said and tears rolled down her cheeks.
“I’ll miss you too”, he replied and wiped away the tear.
“I love you Rishab.”
“I know and now I got a secret which I want to share”, he said.
“What?”
“Disha, I’m in love with someone and I’m sorry that I didn’t let you know about it”, he said and hung his face. Disha couldn’t believe to the words he just said, she was thunderstruck. She could hardly control herself from crying yet she managed herself from getting feeble. Her soul was ripped off and she looked away and maintained the silence.
“I know I should have told you earlier but then I just needed some time”, he broke the silence.
“Well Rishab, its fine. No need to feel guilty and I’m fine”, her voice got chocked. She couldn’t believe that she got two of the catastrophic news on the same day.
“I’m sorry for all these but…”
“Rishab, it’s too late and I got to go, bye”, she said and turned her back.
“I LOVE YOU, DISHA”, he said. For a second she couldn’t believe her ears and turned around, Rishab was smiling at her.
“What did you just said?”
“Well, nothing. Did you hear something?”
“Rishab, please… what did you say?”
“I love you, Disha”, he said. “I’m sorry for making you cry but then I realized…”
“Rishab, huh… you idiot I will kill you”, she said and hugged him before he could complete his sentence. “I love you a lot; you don’t realize what gift you gave me before your departing.”
“Stop crying”, he said and hugged her back. Before their leave-taking the magic of love filled its essence in their lives. After a week Rishab went to Delhi and for Disha it was toughed to accept the fact especially when they were committed. She missed him but never did she express the fact where as Rishab, he got busy with his life and his new friends. It often happened that a week passed by but Rishab never rang up Disha neither did he left a text. Then after many days he used to ring her up and gave lots of excuses, Disha tried hard to calm herself but then she couldn’t stop herself from weeping. Rishab started all his addiction once again and it was difficult for Disha to make him understand anything.
“Rishab, you are in Delhi to prepare yourself for MBA and instead you are partying all the time”, she frowned.
“Oho babes, I’m studying seriously”, he giggled.
“Rishab, I’m not in a mood to bear your silly jokes. Baby you got some dreams, some ambition and what about the promise you gave to yourself, your parents, don’t you want to be successful and achieve what you want”, she tried to encourage and he remained silent.
“I know, it’s that I want to prepare for my MBA but then I can’t”, he said innocently.
“What do you mean by you can’t? I’m not telling you to prepare 24*7 but at least you can sit down for a few hours.”
“Ya, I’ll baby…”
“You know what hurts me more, not that you don’t give me time; it’s that you neglect me because you are busy boozing with your new friends. If you would have avoided me for your career then it wouldn’t hurt me so much Rishab”, she interrupted.
“I love you”, he said.
“Uff, Rishab…” she giggled. “You know how to cool down my temper.”
“Arey chill babes, I’ll work hard from tomorrow”, he giggled too. They might fight for days but within seconds they sorted out their problems. But then something else was planned for them, the issues in between them grew bigger and the understanding was gradually decreasing each day. Disha went restless seeing her relationship getting depreciated day by day. Finally the outburst happened; Rishab didn’t contact Disha for more than a week and Disha rang his friends numerous of times but none of them conveyed her message to Rishab. Finally Rishab did ring her up but then the unexpected happen…
“What do you want from me? Why are you bothering my friends?” Rishab shouted.
“I didn’t mean to bother them; I was just concerned about you…”
“Just stop it; I’m not a kid, even my mom never bothers me so much”, he shouted one more time and disconnected the line. She went blank and thought for a while what had actually happened, for what reason Rishab shouted at her? Was it her concern for him or was it her love for him? Why he did shout for absolutely no reason? All of a sudden his sms flashed.
I’m sori I cnt continu dis relationship…. Plzz lev me alone…
She couldn’t believe the sms she just read. What went wrong in between them? Why he suddenly took such a decision? She rang him up but he disconnected the line every time. Then suddenly his sms flashed.
Please, stop it yaar… m not in a mud to talk… I ddnt wana end it dis way… means i…. plzz lev me alone… m gonna change mah sim…. Byee…
Y r u doing dis? Wat did I do? If u hv ny prob wid me, tell me naa, I will try to chnge mah self but dnt say all des…
No, I feel vry guilty whn I cnt gv u d importance u desrv n I cnt contn dis way, plzz dnt txt me nymoree..
Disha rang him one more time but by then his cell was switched off. She was all shattered and confused; she couldn’t believe her best friend would hurt her that way. She never lied to him, she was always faithful, caring and the most important thing was: she was his best friend. Then why he did he leave her giving her no significant reason. For the next few days she went under depression, she had stopped talking to everyone, she had stopped taking her food and she tried each way to end her pain but overtime she broke down even more. She just not only lost her love but a very close friend of her and each day she tried his number but it was switched off. Months passed by but Rishab never contacted her and she never moved on instead her feelings grew strong. She never lost the hope of getting her lost love back. Then suddenly one day Rishab send her a mail, enquiring whether she was fine or not. May be he too missed his best friend a lot after all she was very close to him and more over he always felt guilty for hurting her so much. Rishab got no courage to face Disha after their break up but he didn’t want to lose his best friend. Finally after returning from Delhi they met and tried hard to resolve their problem but they couldn’t. Rishab had already moved on and moreover he told Disha that she was not his type of girl. It’s not that he wanted to hurt her, he did respect her feelings but something was missing from his side. Disha was upset when she heard it; she couldn’t get what was ‘his type of girl’? she was his best friend, she understands him, always had encouraged him, supported him, they had spend some beautiful moments together, she was always appreciated by him and long back Rishab confessed her that he always wanted a girl like her to be his girl friend, then what went wrong at that moment. She was all crushed and smashed from inside, she couldn’t digest the fact. She was hurt to see that Rishab was much cool about the break up where as she is concerned, she still loved Rishab even more. She kept silent and thought of being his friend only as the relation lost all its charm. Disha knew that the relation won’t work out anymore time so it would be better for her to walk out from his life. Every time when she tried herself to walk out, she felt that Rishab might need her at any moment as he was very reckless towards his life. Meanwhile Rishab started talking to numerous girls and he often hurt Disha knowingly and unknowingly. Rishab always wanted Disha to move on in her life as he couldn’t see his best friend to suffer. He always did the things which Disha hated, he wanted Disha to hate him but he failed every time; Disha always excused his mistake and with much patience she made him understand his flaws. There were times when Disha couldn’t tolerate Rishab talking to other girls but she got no option other than keeping her pain within herself. One day she determined herself to end it finally hence on the coming Valentine’s Day she wanted to meet Rishab but as usual Rishab ignored her. She tried hard to convince him but he didn’t listen; finally he said that he would give a thought to it. Disha thought of writing a letter to Rishab, her first love letter. She thought of telling Rishab what he meant to her and to let him know that it’s really not possible for her to be his friend for anymore time. For Disha her love always come in between their friendship and for that she always hurt him as well as herself. She was about to complete the letter but then suddenly she couldn’t write further. She broke down in tears, she realized that it was not at all possible for her to let go her love. She was not that strong enough to get herself out of Rishab and his thoughts. She left the letter incomplete and placed it in between her notepad. At the end of January, Rishab informed Disha that he would be busy on Valentine’s Day, so it would be difficult for him to meet her. Disha knew the reason behind it but she couldn’t make him understand that it would be the last time she wanted to meet him. They argued for a day or two and then Rishab stop replying to Disha’s message and calls. Disha never lost her hope and kept on texting him but he never replied. Then after three to four days, there was an argument among Disha’s friend and Rishab and result of that was the end of relationship between Rishab and Disha. It might have happened that Rishab considered Disha responsible for everything and it might also happen that Rishab got a good chance to walk out from her life. He was ready to sacrifice the friendship if someday Disha would overcome his thought. Finally he texted Disha for the very last time and the text ripped of her soul and shook her world upside down.
I dnt hv ne interst in u or ur frinds… I trustd u n dats d biggest mistk f my lyf… aftr our brk up I contct u n dat was also my biggest mistake… frm nw I dnt knw u n u dnt knw me…dnt evr snd ne fucking message newhr n dnt u evr dare to contct me……
……
……
“Rishab…” she said slowly when she read the message one more time and her eyes were wet like any other day. Every day she used to read the message at night before going off to sleep, his last text took her to the world once she experienced. Now that she is married and even got a son yet Rishab’s thought and her love for him traumatized her every moment. She didn’t read the text to torture her soul; she read it every day to make herself realize the fact that Rishab was no more in her life. She lost him forever and may be some where she deals with it every day rather every second. She never contacted Rishab after that; she didn’t even try to solve the issues or the misunderstanding. She understood that Rishab could never feel for her and she didn’t want to hurt him anymore and hence she respected his decision and never replied him. It became a regular habit for Disha, she dealt with it every day but she never let anyone know about her pain. She was leading her life as it was her duty to be with her husband but whenever she looked at her son, she did forget all her pain for a second.
That day she went with her son to buy him his demanded play station. Both of them were confused as they couldn’t figure out which one was better. Finally Disha rang up her husband and asked him to come over to the arcade where they would be waiting for him. When he arrived the child was very happy to see his father approaching them, he was confirmed that he was about to get his first PS. Both the parents were busy looking at the features while their son was busy looking at the girl who was sitting at a distant. He then went straight up to the girl and tried hard to talk to her but she didn’t even bother to answer him.
“Girls are really bad, they don’t care about any one”, he said in disgust.
“You are right buddy”, a voice said. He turned around and saw a tall, smart guy smiling at him.
“Do I know you?” the child enquired.
“No”, he said.
“Is she your daughter?”
“No way, I’m not yet married. Actually will get married soon”, he said politely.
“Why are you concerned?”
“Oh, I’m not concerned. It’s that I agree with you, girls are really complicated my friend.”
“Really?”
“Yes, each of them”, he said and winked at him.
“My mom is very sweet, she always listen to me, she always love me and always fulfill my wishes”, the child replied innocently.
“Mothers are not complicated, I said girls are complicated. Like my girl friend, she got no time for me, busy with her presentation and look I, bechara loitering alone over here.”
“Well, leave her then”, the child giggled. He smiled at the child’s innocence and took a chocolate bar from his pocket and gave him.
“Thank you”, the child said.
“Welcome”, he said and pressed his cheeks. “You got some chubby cheeks.”
“Well I hate people who touch my cheeks without my permission. You gave me the chocolate so you are allowed to press them.”
“I must say, you remind me of someone”, he said as if he meant it.
“Oh God, not again, my mom also said that my eyes remind her of someone. She loves my eyes as according to her they speak to her and now my cheeks remind you of some one. I can’t believe this.”
“Well you are very sweet hence your mom loves you so much. Why you are here, is she with you?”
“Ya, both my parents are here and they are buying me my first PS”, he said excitedly.
“Great, indeed… Well my name is Rishab Mishra and what…”
“Rishab”, a familiar voice spoke. He turned around and saw Disha standing right infront of him. It’s been six years they were not in touch. Both of them stand still and miss a beat of their heart. Disha couldn’t believe that she would meet Rishab once again and neither did Rishab. Her eyes were already wet and whereas Rishab he stood numb.
“Mom, which model did you purchase?” the child enquired but she remained silent. The child called her yet she stood silent. Then the child pinched her hand and soon she realized her mistake and looked away from Rishab to her child.
“Where you have been? I have been looking for you since long”, she said to the child but she meant as if she enquiring to Rishab.
“Well, I found a girl sitting over here and I came here to talk to her but she didn’t reply me and went away and then… hey what did you said, your name is Rishab. Well my name is Rishab too”, the child spoke. The moment the child said his name, Rishab felt something in his heart. All of a sudden a huge wave of guiltiness knocked him down.
“Your father is looking for you, go and have a look at your PS”, Disha said and the child ran towards his father. Both of them stand still and kept on gawping at each other. For a second Disha thought of hugging Rishab but then she remind herself her identity. Rishab was happy to see his best friend finally got married but then a question poped out in his brain, did she move on? He wanted to say but before he could say anything Disha stopped him.
“I’m happy Rishab, I got a lovely family. My husband loves me a lot and so my son and I love them too. You wanted me to move on, look I got a family but it’s that I never stopped LOVING YOU. My heart still beats for YOU”, she said and walked away without hearing what Rishab wanted to say. She couldn’t muster up courage to listen to his words and she didn’t want herself to be feeble. After years destiny once again broke her from inside yet she remained calm. Rishab walked out of the arcade and went to the park nearby, he recalled what Disha just said and he believed her words as she had named her son Rishab. He then rang her fiancé as he wanted to share every incident related to Disha with her.
“Hi”, he said.
“What happened now? I told you I can’t come; I am busy with the presentation. Talk to you later”, she said and disconnected the line. Rishab was not even allowed to utter a word, he felt so disgusted. How could she behave like that, he wanted to share his past with her but she was not at all bothered. He then suddenly recalled his behavior towards Disha, there were times when a girl did want to share her feelings with him but he never paid attention to them. He was busy enjoying his life with his friends and down in his heart he kept his dark feelings for years; his guiltiness kept on increasing inside his heart.
“I didn’t want to hurt you; I wanted you to be happy. I was nothing compared to you; I never gave you the required importance. Hence, I thought of ending the relationship as soon as possible but then I didn’t want to lose you. Therefore, I contacted you once again but your love for me kept on increasing and I felt very guilty that I can’t feel for you and I always hurt you knowingly so that you can hate me and leave me but you didn’t. I gave you the pain which you don’t deserve, all I want you to be happy but I never realized that my silence will bring you so close to me. I thought after our final leave-taking you will overcome my thoughts but you cherish all my memories till now. Your eyes shone the same love which I saw six years back. Why do you love me so much? I didn’t want to hurt you, trust me. I always missed you, I missed our hide n seek meetings, I missed our night talks, I missed your support, I missed your encouragement, I missed your rubbish silly questions. I never could stop thinking about you but I never thought in other way”, he cried. Rishab never felt so helpless ever in his life, she was the one who was his strong support but he never gave her his helping hand. She was the one with whom he could share anything but he never did share her pain. He never realized that someone loved him so much and he would hurt her so badly and unfortunately she was his best friend. On the other hand when Disha reached home, she lost all the strength. Her fresh wounds were once again rekindled. She saw Rishab’s eyes which shone his guiltiness, she felt helpless because she knew that Rishab would be helpless at that moment and he could never share his feelings with anyone. She opened her wardrobe and took her notepad and opened it. She found the letter which once she wanted to give to Rishab but she couldn’t. She read it….
Dear Rishab,
U might b thinking y I didn’t start with bhut, baby, shona etc. etc. though I used to call u by des names very now and den…it’s bcoz Rishab was the person who forced me to do frndshp wid him wid an innocent trick and later I found bhut, shona baby or my love in u… whenever I thght I knw bhut completely, Rishab provd me wrng n dats d reson I hate Rishab a lot but at the same time bhut ruled my heart. I dnt knw y m I writing dis to u but its dat I want to share my feelings in dis paper… I knw feelings can never be scribbled in a paper but yet I tried hard to manage and describe wat I feel for u…I cant continue dis frndshp nymore tym as I could not deal it anymore tym… whenever I talk to u, our past, my feelings haunted me… I found dat u have chnged completely n I remain d same… I cnt control my feelings anymore… whenever I confess my luv for u, u feel guilty n get disturbed and I feel worthless as I hurt my best friend everytime. You love to read books na, hence I have bought books for u on dis valentine’s day n one for ur bday but I want to gft u everything earlier as aftr today we wnt be in touch anymore time… the books are awesome, both the books gv me d strength to live my love alone and I can assure u that u will love both the books…
I always said I want to hold your hand; it’s not because I want to win you…it’s because I wanted to say that I will never leave you alone…I always want to hug you; its’ not that because I love you…it’s because I want to rest my head on your chest and listen each of your heart beat. I always said I feel lyk kissing you; it’s not that I was desperate…it’s because I wanted to soak all your pain… you know why I asked you to meet me on dis Valentine’s day, it’s because I want to live this day forever and then walk out from your lyf… I wanted to cherish the day forever… Rishab, you are the one who taught me to love someone honestly, taught me to live my life, judge people and endure pain… I’m lucky indeed that once you loved me and considered me to be your best friend… well you want me to move on, I’ll move on for you, my parents and for my friends too. I’ll try to fall in love wid sum1 else if I ever could… but no one can ever replace you from my heart… I’ll try to kill my love and feelings for you and be the one who will not have any feelings regarding anything… who will be the puppet of someone else… but my heart will always beat for you… Disha will be Rishab’s forever… no one can ever win her love… someone will marry her but never can he win her… someone will hold her hand but can never press her cheeks, someone will be her soul mate but never could he win her soul…
I want you to move on wid some other gal, so that I can feel relief that there will be someone who can take care of you, you are really very reckless… Rishab………
A tear dropped on the letter as she read his name, the letter remain incomplete since then; she never got the courage to complete it. After six long years she read it and once again she went through the entire flash back. She realized that nothing was changed at all, she still love Rishab like she used to love him before. In fact the love was increasing as the days were passing. All of a sudden her child came running and hugged her from back.
“Mom, thank you for buying me the play station”, he said. She wiped her cheeks and went put the letter back into the note pad and placed inside the wardrobe.
“Mom, what happened? You seem restless”, he said.
“I’m fine sweetheart, actually I’m bit tired. So are you happy with your play station?” Disha enquired.
“Yes, Maa, I ‘m very happy; I love you”, he said and hugged her. Whenever Rishab hugged her, or smiled at her, she could feel her love been blessed somewhere. At that point she overcomes all her pain and sorrow.
“I love you Rishab”, she said and hugged him back.
Neither could anyone blame Rishab nor can anyone ask Disha to move on. Love is something which happens naturally, so naturally one can overcome it. One can never force someone to overcome it and similarly one can never force anyone to love someone. Rishab did want Disha to move on but he forgot that love cannot be overcome if one just walks away from someone’s life. Love is not about 5months or 50 long years, it’s about the feeling one feel for someone so it can never me measured or judged with the span of time. Disha too tried hard to expunge Rishab’s thought but she couldn’t hence she finally stop fighting with herself and led the life she wanted to, she loved Rishab throughout though she got a loving and caring family. It’s not necessary that after a long gap one can overcome one’s love, sometimes moments are enough to grip hold the person in our heart. None was wrong if we judge them and none can be accused, it was the DESTINY who actually played with their innocent hearts. I luv u forever, bhut!!!
